NIU Shooting Aftermath IV

Today (wed) was our second class back since the shooting.
We did not talk about the shooting. But I could tell somehow that my students were a lot worse for wear today than they were on Monday. I couldn’t put my finger on anything specific, but I had a palpable sense that they were struggling today.

a few of them seemed more tired than they usually do. A few of them just kind of looked disheveled. This is not uncommon for an 8 am class, but there was a vibe in the air, strong enough for me to pick up on.  When I looked at one of my students, I felt sure that he/she had been up all night crying. I don’t know why I should think this exactly. I might be mistaken. Still, something was definitely wrong.

I think this is normal after a trauma. I had a feeling that they were putting up a bit of a front on Monday. But I will have to keep my eyes open in the days to come.

I should also point out that they were pretty well focused and put up with a somewhat boring lecture and group exercise on bibliographic entries.

NIU Shooting Aftermath III

Yesterday (monday) I finally got back together with my students for the first time.  There was a counselor in the room. There was a counselor in every room. I brought coffee and doughnuts, lots of doughnuts. We all hung out for a bit and ate doughnuts.

Then I addressed the class and introduced the counselor, who gave a very short speech and and a little handout. After that, I told them my experience of the shooting and how I felt about it and invited them to talk about it if they wanted to. They didn’t want to.

I showed them again how to post on the Blackboard discussion that I set up for writing about the tragedy and invited them to go ahead and post something on it if they ever feel like doing so. I also showed them how to post anonymously. For obvious reasons, none of these things are mandatory.

The impression I got was that they had talked about the shooting enough with friends and family and now they want to get back to normal.

I was surprised (and quite disappointed) when some of my students told me that I was the only one of their teachers who contacted them by email after the shooting. I find this to be fairly inexcusable. Even a teacher who has a couple hundred students can easily make up an emailing list (I assume they all do this on the first week of class). I had emailed my students by 3:30 on the 14th. Even if I didn’t care deeply for my students as individuals,  I would have considered it a duty to look after their welfare…y’know, like what they pay us for.

Anyway, I gave them an assignment to read the essay University Days, by James Thurber. I thought it would be a kind of fun and uplifting assignment to ease us back into the routine. This routine has been sadly lacking this semester. I haven’t been able to have a full week of classes since January. Still, I think we’ll muddle through. As Winston Churchill  said “If you’re going through Hell, keep going.”

NIU Shooting Aftermath II

Today I attended a special meeting with the head of counseling from a university in Arkansas. I am glad that I went to this. It hasn’t dramatically changed my plans for dealing with my students. But he really helped me achieve some sort of clarity on a couple of issues.

I realized that I need to make sure that nothing on the first day back comes to them as a surprise. So I sent them an email telling them what we would be doing. Here is the email:

Hi everybody. I hope you are well. I have missed you all so much this last week.

As you probably know, we are going to have our first class on Monday at 8 am. I want to tell you what I have planned for that class so that you have no surprises.

First of all, there will be a counselor in every class at NIU on Monday and Tuesday. This person is just there in case you or I feel the need for some extra help. I think that our counselor may have a very short speech for us and then he/she will just hang out in case we want him for anything.

Next, we need to take some time and talk about the tragedy. I realize that some of you may want to talk and some of you may not. Nobody will be required to discuss anything, I promise. But we are all going through a very hard time and we need to acknowledge that so we can help each other get through it.

I’m afraid I don’t know how to get through this any better than you. I haven’t been sleeping very well and when I do sleep I have nightmares. I feel very angry and depressed. I am told that these are normal reactions and that many of you may be experiencing the same thing. So we are just going to have to get through it together. I will help you. And seeing your faces will help me a great deal.

So anyway, after that, we’ll spend a little time discussing how we want to handle due dates and assignments for the rest of the semester. Then I will have a short writing assignment for Friday from our book “Fifty Great Essays.” (that is, assuming I can find my book. I can’t figure out what I did with it last week)

This is all we have to do on monday. I will bring coffee and doughnuts for us to enjoy.

I am so very sorry that a tragedy like this had to happen to you. You are all such wonderful students and people. I have known some of you for a pretty long time now. I look at every one of you as a unique, special human being and I would do anything I could to protect you from an atrocity like this. I’m sorry that I could not do that, but I hope that we can all stay together and help each other.

Keep in mind that we also have the thread on our blackboard “discussion board” if you want to write anything. (But you don’t have to)

Please feel free to email me if you have any questions or if you just want to talk or whatever.

~ fouts

After I sent this, I sent a personal email to each of my students just asking them how they are doing.

I have one student who was in the class that was attacked. I realize that nothing in my experience can acquaint me with what he/she went through in the half-minute or quarter-minute before he/she got out of that lecture hall and into a safe building. (I say he/she because I required by law, as well as conscience, to keep that student’s identity secret).

I have heard tales of survivors who had to leap over the bodies of fallen students. It is likely that some of my students will suffer from PTSD.

I am upset and depressed. I’m not sleeping quite well. And yet I have found that a crisis situation tends to create its own motive power. That has been my experience. The weather is very cold here and I am unhappy.

I am tired and becoming upset this evening.

NIU Shooting Aftermath I

Sorry I haven’t been posting here since the attack last Thursday. But nothing of note has really happened in the last few days (from my vantage point). The school is closed this week and we are now having meetings to come up with ideas on how to approach classes next week.

The basic question that we all have to deal with is what to do on Monday. How much do we discuss the tragedy? How quickly do we get back to academic work? How do we recognize students suffering from PTSD down the road?

We are into uncharted territory with this incident. It is really quite unclear how my students will react on Monday. They have responded quite well to my emails, which is a good sign. I have no way of knowing right now how close my students were to the shooting and if any of their friends were killed or wounded in the attack.

There is likely then to be a range of attitudes in the class next week. My plan so far is to open the class up to discussion of the event if they want to talk about it, and have a lesson plan if they don’t want to talk about it.

Things I think I need to know by monday

What security measures are there to insure (as much as possible) that this will not happen to my students in my classroom?

A short prepared statement of my feelings about the incident to begin any discussion.

Niu Shooting

I am a TA at NIU. I don’t know if I mention that in my “about” section. The attack that occurred yesterday happened right next door to my office building.

My first thought was of course for my students. I wasn’t at NIU when I heard the news. I immediately sent the following email to all of my students:

When you have a moment, could I trouble you to reassure me that none of you have been shot today. It would very much put my mind at ease. Thanks.

The responses that I got back were short, but I think that they really appreciated that I had checked on them. For example a typical response was like this:

safe, and sound, thanks for your concern mr.fouts. glad you are as well.

I can’t yet articulate my feelings on the massacre, but I am very proud of my students and I am very happy that none of them are dead.

If anybody who reads this blog has some ideas on how best to relate to my class I would be very grateful for you comments. I think I have a good relationship with them but I would never turn away any free advice.

link to lesson plan

http://ical.mac.com/WebObjects/iCal.woa/wa/default?u=cattledog5&n=Work.ics